Mutha'Hood

Well folks..today is a day to put in the books! You know the books? The mental book all of us mothers have that we store in the very back of our brain? That part of our brains that we use to recall wonderful life moments as a parent? Well, since my parenting has graduated into teenagerdome....that area of my brain has been replaced with moments of not so good parent memories. I used to use that part of my cranium to draw upon pleasant moments when an otherwise pleasant parenting day has gone awry...You know..the day your kid says that they hate you...you quickly scatter to that place in your head that is overflowing with cute and proud mommy/kid moments...then you take a deep breath, sigh and let it all out...'This is jsut one moment in time and everyone says it's normal for a teenager to react to their parents in such a negative way". So fine..I let go of the heated minute of spewing sadness and reflect on the times when I was everything to my children. But lately the negative has far outweighed the positive and that area of my lid is now full and busting with those 'un' words! UNhappy, UNbelievable, UNsatisfactory, UNgrateful, UNfair, UNknown, UNfamiliar..and so on...Gone are the days of being able to pull from those thoughts any and all happy cheerful and cute moments. Today was a day to beat all days..a less than proud moment in a parents life. I won't say a parents worse nightmare because I can think of many more horrible ideas to put into that category..but I will say that I will not be adding a new page in my scrapbook life! I had to attend juvenille court with my almost 16 year old son today! Not a fun nor amusing place to be. It wasn't extremely serious but enough so to where we needed to attend. The problem is that my darling sweet little boy has not yet learned the art of brevity! You know..learning to keep one's mouth shut..ending that outloud thought BEFORE you go too far with it...Well that will get each and every one of us in trouble every time! We're all guilty of it but in this day and age..due to all of the problems that have gone on in our high schools with unhappy teens 'getting back' at those who have wronged them...well kids just aren't allowed to say anything anymore. And rightfully so..who are we to decide and to be able to judge if and when a kid is serious or not with their words. Nothing anymore can be left to chance..Sad at the same time too...but it's for the safety of everyone. My son needs and needed to learn the reprocussions of his actions and words. So for that it was a blessing in some small way for him to realize the seriousness of this and to accept responsibility for his actions. There is something so real and final when these words come from a legal standpoint as opposed to my son hearing those same words from me..after all, I'm just his mother...So let's hope that this was the first and last time that I as his loving mother will have to ever be in this position again! For my own sake I do hope that I shall again be able to call upon those wonderful mother memories to replace these not so good ones..and that my son will realize what all of this actually does to everyone else around him and not just him..all I can say is that he is soooo very lucky that he is cute!