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Nov 12, 2008

The holidays are fast approaching!!!

Hello all!!! Well it's that time of year...again! I swear I am still paying off last year's Wii purchase! This year is going to be a very tight wise. I know the holiday's should never be about what you can give and what everyone should get but with a 16 and 21 year old at home, that whole idea never flies! Although, I must confess, my kids have never been ones to ever complain about the amount and types of gifts they receive. They really are grateful in that respect! But, it is the mother in me, you know..the one who has to do better than their own mother..and show their kids just how much they love them? Yep! That's me...I want them to have and not need for anything. I want them to feel as if they can and will have those 'things' they really want...nothing wrong with that...except that this year all of that has gone out the window. We are feeling the crunch..the one everyone else is going through too..well almost everyone anyhow. So, what's a mother to do? Despite the idea and ideals that I hoped my kids would is better to give blah blah blah..they are in! They feel the pressure too..the pressure to have what others have..the pressure to need what they think they should have. It's tough out there for them. Yes, we all went through similiar things when we were younger and every generation previously as well but it really is different for them. Our parents said the same thing about us, I know..but really...our kids have so much more to contend with....crazy drugs, weapons, the idea of being unsafe at school and outside of school. There really is a vast difference these days and quite honestly I just don't know how they approach each day...Because of this..I worry..I worry A LOT!!! Way beyond the normal mother worry that I think my own mom went through. I feel a constant struggle and a huge rub against the grain..for them and therefore it trickles down to me! This is a huge part of my thinking and wanting for them to have what they want! Enter Christmas.. I truly wish and hope that the enormous pressures of gift giving for one day out of 365 would subside a bit. It isn't about what we should instill in our kids to make them realize the meaning of such holidays because we are only one very small precent of their daily influences. What they see and know and learn from their peers etc. play a very big part in their underlying need to fit in and be the same as everyone else. As adults we spend much of our time attempting to be individuals..different..with substance but our kids wnat the exact opposite! They don't want to be different, individuals or stand out in any way whatsoever!! That is what fuels their lack of destinction...being the exact same is what they require...funny how perspectives change when we mature.. So, my hopes for this holiday and every day in between is that I can, will and hope to provide a sense of giving and getting for my family. While I desperately want to subscribe to the ideals of giving as opposed to receiving etc...truth be told is that I want to be the one giving and have my kids be the ones getting..including what they need and what they want! Isn't that what all of us parents want? Cause I sure know that is what my kids want... To everyone suffering through this season...remember what you have to in order to appear as if this year is no different than may have much difficulty and no you shouldn't have to choose between gorceries and that xbox game..but the reality is that most of us will have to this year. Yes..still dream of the day when our kids will realize that the spirit of Christmas is what is important but until whatever needs to be done to give to them..and that includes a sense that all is the 'same' as it ever was..and that our small lives will continue on in the very same way as it has in years past. I really feel strongly that our kids can feel that sense of worry and hopelessness from us..and it isn't their worry or concern that the market tanked or unemployment is at an all time high...the best thing we can give them this year especially is the appearance that we all are continuing on without regret, worry or dire straits! Peace to all..and to those who sit in this same and very large boat!